Sunday, February 15, 2015

Farmhouse Update: February



It has been a while since I wrote an update on the farmhouse. Actually, it's been a while since I blogged at all. The radio silence can be explained in part by the frantic busy-ness of the holiday season and the ensuing exhaustion and winter-induced lassitude. Then I broke the computer.

No, really. I broke it. I put it on top of my car and drove away. My mother-in-law found it a few blocks away on the side of the road. 

Anyway, I got a new computer. Then that one stopped working, through no fault of my own, I swear. Though I am beginning to suspect that I harbor an anti-technology poltergeist. I cannot TELL you how many devices have expired on my watch (like the computer in graduate school that literally CAUGHT FIRE while I was writing an essay??). 

Anyway. Those are a few of my best excuses.

But the real reason I haven't written about the farmhouse lately is: ...that I haven't had the heart. Remember the last update? The one about asbestos floors, and warped doors, and I can't even remember what else? Well, it got worse. Many of you counseled me to fire our contractors. And we did, my friends. We did.

After we fired our contractors our first action was to hire a guy to finish the painting we had been unable to finish. We found a local Dude at loose ends looking for odd jobs. He came up and painted the ceilings and the room we hadn't finished. So far so good. Painting=not rocket science. Dude then offered his services for exterior painting. We agreed. And this is where Devin and I took a wrong turn and found ourselves "within a forest dark [...] the very thought [of which] renews fear, so bitter it is, death is little more."

Well, not quite that bad. But bad enough.

After the exterior paint was finished (also to our satisfaction), the Dude continued to offer his services for tasks that we had yet to finish. Our Ikea cabinets were still in boxes. Would we like him to assemble them? ("Well, why not?") The finish carpenter wasn't returning our calls, would we like him (the Dude) to finish the trim? ("Um, can you do that? Well, okay..."). The electrician was hard to pin down, so would we like him (the Dude) to install the switches and outlets. ("Well...") Can you see a pattern here? We were exhausted, frustrated, extremely strapped for time and cash. We were vulnerable to the temptation. In fact, we were so naive as to be hopeful. Maybe the Dude could finish up these last few things for an absurdly small amount of money. Maybe?

But as the days turned into weeks we began to suspect that Something was Up. The Dude became increasingly hard to get hold of. He was never at work before noon. Sometimes he said that he was working at the house and then, when Devin arrived, he would be gone, and there was no evidence of further work completed. The project stalled. We finally decided to go up one Saturday and assist, hoping to encourage efficiency.

We arrived on that morning to find a complete and utter disaster. How can I explain it? Every wall was scratched, smudged, and banged. Every room needed to be substantially repainted. The newly finished floors were filthy. Someone had been "working" on the electrical outlets, obviously with no knowledge or skill. There were bare wires everywhere, tangled and cut. The outlets that were "completed" were crooked and the walls around them damaged. One outlet was so poorly installed (glued?) that the sheetrock for a foot on either side was soaking wet and disintegrating. You could put your finger right through the wall. The trim had been installed using tacks nailed in every inch or so, with gaps at the joints and between the quarter-round and the floor. The cabinets had been partially constructed, but incorrectly. Some of the drawers were missing. Every bag of screws/nails/parts had been dumped out on the floor in no order, with no way to tell what pieces went with what piece of furniture. The same had been done with all of our light fixtures. Every floor, every surface, was covered with trash, nails, scraps of wire, old food, tools, and mouse droppings. 

It was truly terrible. I sat with the children huddled on the couch, afraid that they would hurt themselves or contribute to the general chaos. For a good half and hour neither Devin could say anything. And then we said things. Many things. 

Needless to say, we sent the Dude packing and spent the rest of the day trying to clean up and take stock of the damage.

All of this is, of course, our own stinking fault. "Sarah and Devin Learn a Lesson" in good American Girl Cautionary Tale form. Never again will we hire a worker without references and credentials. But this has been a costly lesson for us to learn, both emotionally and financially.

The next week Devin hired a very referenced and credentialed electrician to come out and take stock. He brought along a similarly skilled plumber and finish carpenter. They were possibly more shocked by the state of the house than we were. But, unlike us, they have the skills to diagnose and treat, which is what they have been doing in the past few weeks.

All of the electrical had to be redone. Every socket, every outlet. If we had hired this electrician in the first place it would have cost around $500 total. With the damage done it cost us more than twice this amount. The trim also had to be completely ripped up and reinstalled.

So after many, many steps backward, we are now finally making our way forward. In fact, despite EVERYTHING, we are now very close to being really and truly finished. This past week the cabinets were hung and I went up to watch the counters being installed. We found a really gorgeous remnant of white marble which we had honed by a responsible workshop here in Kansas City. Thank goodness for professionals. Look at this marble!

Ignore the unfinished painting.



While the counter-guys worked like pros, I spent the day repainting the walls and cleaning the house. By the end of the day I felt much better about the whole situation, glad to have been able to do something that actually HELPED, happy to have finished a project. The day was gorgeous and I was able to walk through the fields, enjoying the silence and the melting snow.

It is going to be okay, people. It's going to be great. The end is in sight, there is light at the end of the tunnel. But the tunnel has been pretty dark.



   

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